It can be tricky to talk about money, but planning with a partner is a beautiful celebration of your future together. By staying organized and communicating openly, you can make the process simpler, or even fun.

The Benefits of Planning Together

When you plan on your own, it can be hard at times to make decisions or overcome obstacles. When you plan with a partner, you have a permanent sounding board for financial goals. You can align contribution strategies to reduce tax surprises, coordinate on work benefits for maximal outcomes, and stagger retirement ages to ease into the next phase of life.

Shared visibility on finances can help reduce anxiety. It can create a shared vision and motivation to build a great future for yourself. When you can tie saving into joint goals, like travel or a child’s education, you get to celebrate successes together. Developing the best financial plan for your family builds motivation, collaboration, and shared vision in all aspects of your life.

Communication is Key

Of course, financial planning can also be a stressor. Many couples have two different “money personalities” at the start. Maybe one is a saver, while the other is a spender. Maybe one is willing to take more risk with investments, while another would prefer a conservative approach. Like all aspects of life with a partner, financial planning requires communication and compromise.

When you’re first getting serious - for example, when you’re moving in together - it’s time to start the money conversation. Sketch out the major milestones you hope to experience together, such as getting married, buying a home, or welcoming a child. Recognize that your retirement plans will evolve over decades, but discuss how you might want this phase of life to look.

Even when retirement feels far away, it’s good to start discussing it early. This will prepare you for complex scenarios and reduce stress down the line. It will also get you accustomed to talking about money with your partner, so you’re comfortable navigating finances together when it is most important.

Defining Goals and Compromises

Defining your goals will guide your decision making. Allow each other to dream big and express your honest preferences before you ground your vision in numbers. As with all important conversations, remember the basics of good communication. Don’t interrupt your partner; listen and absorb before responding. If your goals don’t line up with your current financial reality, don’t be judgmental, but commit to working it out as a team.

As a couple it is unrealistic to assume you will agree on everything. You’re two different people, and you each bring valuable perspectives as individuals. Disagreement is natural, but effective compromise can be invaluable. Once you have laid out your honest goals and opinions, you can begin to navigate a middle ground. Lifestyle choices are rarely black and white; get creative and collaborate on where you could both find satisfaction.

Compromise is also useful to build flexibility into a plan. Instead of setting hard-and-fast goals for the next fifty years of your life, establish some must-haves, some nice-to-haves, and some contingencies. You can’t control everything that happens in your life, so recognize that all your plans will evolve over time.

Your Secret Weapon? Financial Date Night

If you make financial check-ins an onerous task, you’ll do them far less often. It’s a better idea to make them fun.

Many couples engage in financial “date nights” on a regular basis. Cook a nice dinner; visit a favorite coffee shop; settle in together and review. Go over key accounts, budgeting, and savings. If a long-term goal is looking less appealing or realistic, consider making an adjustment. By tying your financial planning into a comforting environment or a fun activity, you can make it something to anticipate, not dread.

Figure out a timeline that works for your needs. Some couples prefer to review finances more regularly in shorter bursts, and some prefer a monthly or quarterly deep-dive. Do whatever keeps you consistent and allows you to create an effective plan.

Staying Consistent into the Future

Consistency comes from organization. Today, automated financial tools can eliminate the friction of paying bills or contributing to retirement accounts. Use your online banking tools to automate as much as you can.

If you can’t meet your budgeting and savings goals for one month, be gentle with yourself as you get back on track. If you’re regularly falling short, it may be time to reassess your retirement plans and set more realistic goals. If you remain objective, positive, and communicative, your financial planning will be easier and more effective.

Retirement planning isn’t static. It should evolve as life evolves. Compromising with a partner can be difficult, but it’s ultimately a great thing to build a future with someone. A teammate will help you achieve a fulfilling, successful retirement.

This information is for informational purposes only, is intended to provide general guidance, and does not constitute legal, tax, or financial advice. Each person's circumstances differ and may not apply to the specific information provided. You should seek the advice of a financial professional, tax consultant, and legal counsel to discuss your particular needs before making any financial or other commitments regarding the matters related to your condition.